Diaries of a Space Cadet

by An Hobbes

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This album wouldn't be possible without my good friends, Dan, Loraine, and Mackenzie Ackerson. Thank you for everything!


released July 10, 2012

Art by Viet Rocks www.roboarobob.com

Narration written and performed by Jacob Eckstein

All lyrics written by An Hobbes (except for materials written by my featured guests)

Mixing, Mastering, scratching and additional space sounds by Matthew Ihrig (Except Best Served Cold mixed by K Murdock)
Produced by Sassoon -Diaries of a Space Cadet, The Pikaponian, Whale Biologist, and Serenity
Produced by K Murdock -Best Served Cold and Planet Gunsmoke
Produced by Sam Morris -Cosmic Laundry Service and Year of Tomorrow
Produced by Count Bass D -2814
Produced by Robin Samples- Pandora
Produced by Merchant of Death- Galaxy Class
Produced by Whatshisface- Hector the Collector
Produced by Andrew Eckerson- Escape!

Thank you to Matthew (Mellow) Ihrig for letting me record in your studio and for mixing/mastering everything.
Thank you to Whatshisface for letting me record in your studio.
Thank you to Barlow, Robin Samples, and Toad the Newsense for getting on my tracks.
Thank you to Jacob for writing and performing awesome narration.
A very special thank you to my amazing wife, Anastasia, for being supportive of me and helping me with everything.
Thank you to my daughter, Nova Rhyme, for wanting to sing on my album.
Lots of love and gratitude to my friends, family and fans!

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.


An Hobbes Denver, Colorado

Tyler Kreigler works a day job as a super hero in the city of Cubicle Hell. Armed with a degree in Philosophy he spends his day doing absolutely nothing related to his field of study. However, by night (and some evenings) he becomes An Hobbes- emcee extraordinaire, cosmonaut, philosopher and all around nerdy everyman who makes love to your ears with his quick lipped rhymes. ... more


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Track Name: The Pikaponian
Just a pikaponian never to see his home again. The stars outshine his lonliness. Adventure brings his only bliss. It happened on accident back on that day I met a man who wanted to trade a spaceship in a bottle for a portion of my gundam models. Fast forward back to the lab I displayed my new prize on the table with pride. Then I turned around and accidentally knocked the bottle on the ground and I could tell by the sound that it had shattered but when I turned back around, to my suprise, the ship was life sized. The shuttle doors opened, it all looked so inviting I had to take her for a ride. I hopped in the cockpit and the controls straight up looked like a neo geo pocket. Must have hit the overdrive button by mistake cause seconds later I found myself in outerspace like something straight out of farscape. I saw a frog piloting a spacefighter accompanied by a fox. Then alarms starting ringing. I had to react quickly. Then a cable came out of the console and it felt like it bit me. Suddenly I could see everything the ship saw and a voice started speaking in my head and said "No time for introductions you need to take a sharp left!" I grabbed the controls with movement so fluid we flew through the air like we were music. For a second I thought I'd lose it but then we leveled out and I could see a planet of blues and greens like they were tattoos. There were four moons of different colors; each a different size than the other. Even though I didn't have a camera it was one of those "a picture you'd never forget" type of moments and I knew on this day my life had changed forever; but I didn't know it would mean I wouldn't ever see the earth again. Yet I digress cause right now I'm a spacefighter pilot focused on survival. I hid my ship behind an asteroid trying not to make a scene when the next thing I know we're being pulled in by a tractor beam. There on the meet and greet was a nasty crew of demons. I mean their leader was looking kinda skeksi with her vultures neck. The ship said "Chill, combined you and I we've got abilities. I'm gonna hack the system then we're taking over. You feelin me?" "Say word", I replied "you know I'm down to rock it". Then we took down the whole crew and I didn't even have to leave the cockpit. The nasties taken care of, I thanked the ship for the pair up cause we've become that team to be scared of he said "according to the flight manifest the original crew is still alive and on a lower level in a holding cell." Before we showed up this ship must have gone through hell so we set free the crew and stayed to offer our help and thats how it happened...out of their gratitude I was named the irresponsible Captain Hobbes.
Track Name: Year of Tomorrow
Welcome to the year of tomorrow. In need of a home world you got one i could borrow? My ship has crash landed again amidst what appears to be a ghost town, half drown in the mud "great" i thought "now I'm stuck". Cold and hungry i went in seek of shelter and what I wouldn't give for some hamburger helper. Alas earth is but a distant memory swimming in a sea of solar systems filled with a myriad of entities. I found a forgotten trial stubbled with overgrowth. The look was eerie but like obi-wan it was my only hope. Off I went towards what looked like an abandoned tent city. I found a jacket on the ground, a little dusty but a perfect fit. I heard a sound, it seemed to come from over there near that cave entrance and right before it stood a statue of a man named Jane or so I was told by the writing engraved. Then I heard something behind me. Then I felt some pain. Then I fell to the ground from a damaged brain. When I awoke I found myself in a cell. In trouble again I put my hands in my jacket pockets where I found some metal pieces I quickly fashioned into lock picks. Then out I went like an unhappy tenant but in the hallway there was an awful scent like how a sunny day ruins a half drank carton to two percent. Down the hall i saw my captor hunched over his dinner plate looking like a big, cyborg ogre. I tried to roll a death blow but hit his shoulder like a slip up. Then he started bleeding milk like when alien met bishop. Let me pause right there to tell you that was really gross then unpause to tell you we fought and he didn't die from natural causes. Not wanting to be discovered I hid his body in a closet. So far my plan is going flawless. Staying low I crept toward the faint glow from down the corridor and when I got to the entry way I saw a huge cave full of all sorts of slaves like a display of every type of alien race. The slave drivers to me, just a set back. Their leader overseeing from above? I don't sweat that cause on the other side of the room I found a jet pack. I looked back and thats when I saw her...she was a shooting star in a city with no sky. I couldn't tell you why but I had to save her so I grabbed by the wrist like it was fate then hit the button that released the shock collars on all the slaves. A perfect distraction while we made our escape. We stole a space cruiser and headed to the closest planet and that where we parted ways. Before she left I asked her name...she said "it was nice to meet you....I hope we meet again...."... Hope we meet again... really hope we meet again...
Track Name: 2814
They call me spacey space and I'm pretty out there like the name. I write rhymes with hope ink with a pen made from a blue lanterns ring and it jumps to life once I spark my green. I'm green for life while everybody in this game is turning agent orange. In sector 2814 there’s a race for data storage while on the other side of the planet earth kids can't even eat some porridge like whats more important terabytes or feeding the poorest of the citizens more than once a week. Its like a chains only as strong as its weakest link but apparently when you have money you no longer have to think or think you have control. Its the same old story all though out the galaxy. That’s why I ride this album like a dragonaut. Actualize when sounds amplified. Create fire in space. Make my own constellations like I guide my own path cause my dreams aren't meant to be smoked alone until they turn into ash. Got some life in this carbon yet and so far a past without regret. About to break some bread if you want to sit at my table and be apart of this earthlings fables. I'm taking this ship straight to the moon through the skies of arcadia with the speakers bumping beats so fresh, check the star date while D counts bass with your heart rate. I remember the days I used to stare at the stars from my back porch in the west coast, now I'm soaring past them without remorse. Could fall in love with this kind of nostalgia while I'm floating in this black abyss with all these pinpricks of light behind this frozen dusty mist. Can't wait to get back to my mothership so I'm sending an sos with hopes that I'll be blessed with some rescue like "is anybody out there?" It's been awhile since I escaped the slave planet and its cold out here all alone in space so I'm glad I found that jacket I thought to myself as I tried to ration the very last bit of food I had left. Then I saw the lights, I'm finally saved and in the cockpit there she was...it was Madame A.
Track Name: Serenity
I knew she would be mine when I saw her flying in her paper airplane. Take me to the stars I want to visit your planets. Make off with your booty like a space bandit then let you catch me red handed. Cause really I don't know what on earth I'd do without you let alone out here in the cosmos. I watch to see where you go. Wait a little while then I follow. She had Madame A on the license plate so I know what to look for once I'm out in hyperspace. I came to this side of the milky way looking for love. Nope thats the home of the exogorth. It could have been a costly mistake. I want to take you away with me, let me show you my spaceship. Have some dinner and dessert on the holodeck then maybe we can get naked. Got that bedroom proficiency so you know you won't have to fake it. Got me thinking of all the levels that we can take it too. I gave the crew the night off and now its just you and me together in unity. To mean to come across as overbearing but you've got me feelin feelings that are new to me. Her eyes are fierce but her lips are nurturing. The love we made could have made a start explode like a super nova. Lost in each others arms we fell into a coma. When I awoke I was alone. I found a note on the vanity that said "Thanks for the ride. See you next time space cowboy". Dawg now she's got me feelin lost in space. I need to change the coordinates cause she let me drink from her cup of life and now I need more of it. I told the crew we're leaving the good life behind us in search of something greater. We searched for what felt like an eternity but I'm all about follow through. We needed a plan so we docked for the day and I went to my fortress of solitude and there she was saying this time I followed you. I couldn't believe it, this must have been a day dream but the way her hair fell across her face it was the realest thing I'd ever seen. She said it wasn't any fun to a little game of hard and she wanted to see how far I'd go. To the end of the universe and back was my answer, serious as a heart attack. Then I made her my bride, then we made a baby, now I call her my wife and outerspace is amazing. Feeling just like the Robinsons lost in the andromeda system. She wanted me to stop for directions but there was no one to give them. So will we run out of fuel or get sucked into a vacuum? Stay tuned...this story is to be continued.
Track Name: Hector the Collector
He was an abomination born in a wormhole. His origins let him hold the ability to teleport to any destination he could desire. But what he desired most wasn't loving just creation through destruction. Through out the universe one hears stories of mass abductions. On the dl rumors of bodies found maimed and in certain circles tales of entire planets housing slaves and that behind it all was a monster with a masked face. He wasn't ugly, he was horrendous and every glance in the mirror made him swear to god that he would have his vengeance against life itself. He had anti matter dreams illustrated by a soundtrack of screams while flesh slowly gave way to his laser beam surgeries. In his mind it was simple, god created him to spawn mutations of his creation. In time he would have his own army he could use to conquer galaxies but for now its more like clone farming once he was done with his genetic harvest. He took down the hardest species with ease like an artist, brush in hand, painting canvas on a an eisle. The very definition of evil but he could never overcome his greed like gluttony he just keeps feeding and feeding and feeding. And one day he saw her, such a perfect specimen in his eyes because its so fun to ruin someone that's so gentle and kind. What he had in mind I must refrain to put in word. Thankfully no one had to find out cause at that second he heard a sound and suddenly there was chaos on the grounds he stood overlooking. Amidst all the commotion he spied a man he'd never seen before of an unknown species and his new obsession fleeing. Despite his best efforts this new invader evaded capture but one day he would make sure they would both incur his wrath. A little over a year passed and at last there was finally word from his enormous network of informants. He had even learned they had procreated. Of two different species it was once thought impossible. His orders take the woman and kid, kill the man but bring his body. Everyone would be his.
Track Name: Best Served Cold
Cause it isn't even close to a fair sacrifice to save the world you have to see your family off to the afterlife. The horrors of war stories and war torn continents. Planets in disarray like galactus slapped them out of orbit. The obituary read the cause of death was a poisoned kingdom wrought with greed had seeped its way into the drinking water. They never stood a chance but atleast they went in their sleep and now they're finally riding to peace. Now in my need for vengeance I break ground like zazi the beast; swords unsheathed and now ima chop you down with 8 techniques that'll have ya turning ghost like casting vanish then x-zone. I remember every face and in my actions I'm defending your names as I walk in the wake a hundred worlds the empire has left in flames. I will be the life water to vanquish!

And to those who've passed away i'll catch you on the phantom train. But for now i stand a solemn figure watching as you fade away. Day after day I travel space in pursuit of those who did this to you! X2

I finally tracked him down to a floating continent and I don't know if I'll be getting off of it alive but no words can express what its like to lose a wife and a child and at this point I don't really care if survive but rest assured I'm taking him with me. If i can keep from getting dizzy, we took wing damage upon entry and now we're spinning out of control but all I can think about is how when we land I'm gonna damage his soul. I stole out on an escape pod that dropped like a bomb screaming through the air like a coffin housing death like chapel the evergreen with plenty of tricks left and some pep in his step. Come gung-Ho with the guns your times done snap my fingers bring the ultima sun focused through my trigun but then I heard something ever faintly through my ear piece and the voice was hers.

And to those who've passed away I'll catch you on the phantom train but for now I stand hand in hand with Nova Rhyme and Madame A. Day after day we keep it live with our ventures in space.
Track Name: Escape!
She was taken captive and had to get back to her captain. Her first thought to grab the guards gun and start blastin but she had her little girl in her arms and she was dead set to keep her baby out of harms way. She warned the guard not to touch a single hair on her head but he tried to take her by force once she started fussin. Oh snap dawg you did it now, she hit him so hard the sound spelled itself out in the air like kapow! Then she was out and in search of an escape vessel nestled somewhere in the belly of this beast but these henchmen weren't to be beaten so easily. She hit the on in the front with a flying knee then threw her daughter in the air while starting a roundhouse that would take out another three then she caught her and they were on their way, putting shame to the expression that every lady needs saving. Now its all aboard, she pushed the thrusters forwards and they hurtled towards space in a race with the closing doors of the launch bay and they made it with milliseconds in spades. Suddenly Madame A felt like she was made for this which may foreshadow the next albums major twist but she had to shake the thought from her brain cause she had bogies on her six who weren't hesitating to take aim. Ever graceful the madame made every shot of their taken in vein. After a lengthy chase she evader her captors with hopes that now her family would live happily ever after. She tried to reach her ship through a secure channel and was informed her man had set off to partake in a fierce battle. No time to lose she uploaded the coordinates into the ships computer. She kicked it into warp speed, ignoring the warnings of alarms and twisted metal like this p.o.s is only a rental. She rode on a wish that she would make it in time not exactly for her husbands sake but in her mercy to save her enemies life cause she couldn't find it in her heart not to be kind. Almost there but at the cost of the hulls integrity but deep down she knew it would hold so she went with the flow. The ship knew where to go and once they were in communication range she screamed NO! I love you was the response that she got cried from joyous tears and like that another disaster was avoided. Together again it was a joyful reunion complete with a boisterous communion of those who refused to give in, in the face of doom, cause they knew that right next to death a new life starts to bloom. Be it creation or destruction the story always continues.